TIPS FOR EVERYDAY MENTAL WELLBEING

Everybody has mental health. I realise that this should be completely obvious, but it's quite strange that, in our culture, we tend to reserve discussion about mental health for those struggling with mental illness. But the thing is, we all have mental health, and we all can be vulnerable to having that health compromised in some way. We don't wait until an individual has flu to tell them how to prevent it, we make clear the steps that help somebody stay well and avoid illness so that they can stay physically strong and healthy, rather than just applying cures after the fact. So why don't we do the same thing with mental health? (Cynical opinion: A healthy body is more useful to capitalist labour needs than a healthy mind but who knows? ) 

Mental health week was some time ago now, but I wanted to wait a little before posting this, because mental wellbeing should be part of our everyday conversations, not segregated to a single week. With that in mind I wanted to share a few tips to take care of everyday mental health, whether you're someone who is currently living with a mental illness, or someone who wants to take steps to cultivate good mental health, and have some resources for wobblier moments. 

Meditation - Yeah I know, all of the cliche, but I'd like to explain why these things are such staples of mental health improvement. Creating a regular mediation practice allows you to make peace with difficult feelings and thoughts when they happen. Rather than being consumed by stress, or worry, or feelings of guilt or shame, meditation allows you to spend time stepping outside of your feelings and noticing them, and accepting them without judgement. It's not about emptying your busy mind, it's about watching it without being part of it, which means that when you experience really hard feelings and thoughts, you can allow yourself to just experience these things, without being consumed by them. Apps like Headspace and Calm can be great tools for learning the skills. 

Gratitude - When we're having a tough day, it can be hard to feel grateful for much at all. When my OCD is really flaring up it can feel like I'm in a tiny box of negative thoughts and feelings, and nothing else exists. But lighting a candle, and sitting with the wonderful little journal shown above, that my boyfriend gave me for Christmas, (that you can buy here) and just forcing myself to start writing about good things that I can be grateful for can poke holes of sunlight in that cardboard box of sad, and give me some room to breathe. Aim for specificity and shameless honesty when you write your gratitude lists, and try to include things you normally take for granted. My gratitude lists tend to range from "I love and am loved by inspiring and wonderful people who support me endlessly" to "I saw a little dog and he was cute!"

Mental Health Checklists - We all know that there are little things we can do to put us in a positive place, and help us feel in control and confident in our choices. I have a checklist of about ten questions that, if I'm feeling down, I can go through and see what changes I can make to give myself a lift. Things like 'Is my flat clean and tidy?', 'Do I have a healthy, tasty meal I can eat?' and 'Can I have some time away from my phone today?'. When you start making the effort to notice your feelings and mental state, you begin to see the little ways that you can take control of your surroundings and your day, and make some space for yourself. Those little things can make all the difference, even when you're deep in a bad day. 

Consider and Record your Values - A lot of the time, we act spontaneously. For example, we might quit our job after a few stressful days, or flounce out on a relationship when things stop feeling so exciting. Our culture fetishizes feelings in a big way. We are always told to follow our 'gut', or our 'instinct', but the reality is that gut reactions are entirely based in short term fear and desire. If we only ever acted on our gut, we'd never stick to anything important, and would bolt whenever difficult periods arise on long terms paths. Creating a set of concrete values that you want to keep cultivating in your life can help you combat periods of doubt, and stop you reacting to uncertainty and anxiety.
 If your relationship feels stifling, you might feel like it's not right for you and run away, even though you really want to be with that person, but if you know that this relationship is important to you, but you also value freedom and independence, then you can consciously look to honour that value within the relationship, rather than walking away altogether. Of course, it might turn out that there is just no way to find the independence you want in that particular relationship, but then you can consciously choose to let it go, rather than reacting out of fear. This isn't about chasing things that will mean you can create a perfect value honouring life, but it's about looking at what you have, and working out how to put your values into that space. This can apply to all areas of life: career, parenting, even your choice of hobbies and friendships. When you know your values you can create a life that honours them in a healthy way, without panicking when they feel threatened and making impulse decisions. 


Create a Resource Book - As well as my official Wellbeing Journal, I also have a little art journal/grimoire, and recently have been using it to collect resources and supporting material for myself. So that when I'm finding myself slipping into compulsive behaviour, or unhelpful patterns in reaction to my anxiety, I can take out my little resources bank, and consciously choose healthier actions.
 In this resource I have articles from magazines (Breathe have great stuff on this), as well as things like statements about my values, affirmations and little letters to myself. Having that external resource allows you to be guided by something other than your mind's spontaneous emotional reactions. Instead of acting on anxiety, uncertainty, or fear, I can look at these resources, essentially a manifestation of my conscious decisions and values, and act on those instead.

Mental wellbeing is ultimately about being the conscious gatekeeper of your thoughts and feelings, and treating your emotional state as a thing that can just be there, rather than something you have to react to. For a lot of people who struggle with depression, anxiety and other conditions like OCD (represent!) these issues stem originally from reacting compulsively to bad feelings, and trying to make them go away, rather than sticking to our goals even when we don't feel good. When we practice poor mental health, allowing uncertainty to pull us away from what we want, our brain literally changes it's functioning to make us more reactive to those unpleasant thoughts and emotions, and before you know it you are paralysed by what is effectively nothing more than a bad feeling. 

This isn't to diminish or dismiss what anyone struggling with mental health goes through, as I said, our culture effectively sets us up to be vulnerable to mental illness by never teaching us how to effectively engage with our emotions in a healthy way, yet demanding that we use them to guide our actions. I know that on days when my OCD is bad, it's all I can do to get out of the house, but by constantly engaging with the tips and tricks that I've laid out here, I can maintain some control over my day, and act from a place of mindful consciousness, rather than doubt and fear. 

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